progress update: Pulled and gapped the other plugs in the engine. They were all clean and gauged correctly. Check 1 and 4 for sparks: We have spark!
Inspected under the seat: noticed a wire coming from the fuel tank to the positive battery lead was disconnected. Reconnected.
No coolant was in reservoir, clean looking oil in sight glass.
Noticed a small rubber tube wasn't connected to anything. At the bottom of the fuel switch(is that the petcock?) I found a lead at the bottom of the carb that looks like it could be attached to it.
Tried starting until the battery died. Nothing. taking the battery out, a cylindrical part was kinda dangling behind it, wrapped in duct tape?(last pic)
Anyways....here's some pics: